I have no inspiration lately
I used to want stuff
I used to have some motivation
a desire to "create" something
no matter how small
but
ever since I came home and saw...
how sick she really is
I have nothing, no drive
to go or be or do anything
aside from being there for there for her
I want to believe that this will pass
like everything in the past
and what if it doesn't?!!
Paul said it...
"My mom is a superhero she can't die!"
and he was right
in our heads she is...
She is my best friend
my confidant
my glue
my hero
my idol
my strength
my mama
and now I get to be here for her
I get to have her back
after all these years of her having mine
and I'm tierd
but she was tired and she never gave in
and I won't give in
if she doesn't get better
I will make her better
even if it kills me to save her
and better if it doesn't
but being here for her now
my life finally feels meaningful
I feel worth more...

I guess I don't know how to write about this kind of pain, I better learn though because holding it in is killing me